Too often, people make the assumption that self harm is when people "don't think they're beautiful" so they cut they're wrists. They would be mostly incorrect.
Cutting can be a way to feel pain when it seems like you can't feel anything else. You just want to feel Something.
The most relatable reason (for me) is an equalizer. I hate making other people feel pain. If I have yelled at someone or hurt their feelings I feel awful. As any person would. I have caused them emotional pain. So in order to kind of equalize the universe or make the pain the same on both my side and the person I hurt, I cause myself physical pain. Maybe it doesn't seem rational to someone from the outside but when you are in that position and you feel that you've caused someone emotional pain, it seems like a reasonable answer.
Then you look back later and see those scars... It's kinda scary. It reminds you of a dark time. A lonely night when the earth seemed to stop spinning and it was just you and that inanimate blade that seemed so alive. It slit and carved memories into your skin taking the guilt and leaving the pain. It equalizes the universe and in that moment after the harm is done, everything is perfect... Except for you.
No comments:
Post a Comment